HOW CAN I KNOW IF I WAS A VICTIM OF CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE?

HOW CAN I KNOW IF I WAS A VICTIM OF CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE?


A lot of people who are victims of sexual abuse are afraid to face the truth that they have been victims of abuse already. More often than not, they tend to supress or repress the memories. But rooted deep within are the vivid thoughts and nightmares of the past that have created wounds which are not yet healed. Other victims may think they have forgotten this nightmare and that they have sealed the memories tightly in a place where these thoughts can never be brought up again. This is nit true. Other victims of abuse tend to minimize the gravity of the incident by saying: "It only happened once.", "it was only a kiss.", "He just showed me movies.", "There was no penetration that happened."

According to Ellen Bass and Leaura Davis, the statements that were previously mentioned are a measure of the gross minimizing of abuse done in our society. They added,

The fact that someone else has suffered from abuse more severe than your own does not lessen your suffering. Comparisons of pain are simply not useful. There are many ways of minimizing sexual abuse. A particularly offensive one is to claim that if a man didn't force his penis into
some opening of your body, you weren't really violated. This is not true. The severity of abuse should not be defined in terms of male genitals. Violation is determined by your experience as a child—your body, your feelings, your spirit. The precise physical acts are not always the most damaging aspects of abuse. Although forcible rape is physically excruciating to a small child, many kinds of sexual abuse are not physically painful. They do not leave visible scars.

The following are criteria to know if you are a victim of child abuse:

Excerpt from the book The Courage to Heal
(A Guide for Women Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse) by Ellen Bass and Laura Davis



When you were a young child or teenager,were you:
• Touched in sexual areas?
• Shown sexual movies or forced to listen to sexual talk?
• Made to pose for seductive or sexual photographs?
• Subjected to unnecessary medical treatments?
• Forced to perform oral sex on an adult or sibling?
• Raped or otherwise penetrated?
• Fondled, kissed, or held in a way that made you uncomfortable?
• Forced to take part in ritualized abuse in which you were physically or sexually tortured?
• Made to watch sexual acts or look at sexual parts?
• Bathed in a way that felt intrusive to you?
• Objectified and ridiculed about your body?
• Encouraged or goaded into sex you didn't really want?
• Told all you were good for was sex?
• Involved in child prostitution or pornography?*

* Between 500,000 and 1,000,000 children are involved in prostitution and pornography in this country; a high percentage of them are victims of incest. See Sex Work: Writings by Women in the Industry, edited by Frederique Dellacoste and Priscilla Alexander (Pittsburgh: Cleis Press, 1987).


If you answered YES in any of these questions. YOU were a victim of child sexual abuse. All sexual abuse is damaging whether it was just a touch and it happened only once, a movie that was shown to you, an offensive verbal/sexual statement, still it is an abuse and the trauma does not end when the abuse stops. The fact that someone else has suffered from abuse more severe than your own does not lessen your suffering. You were also a victim.


I just want you to know if you have been sexually abused,
YOU ARE NOT ALONE.